what would jesus do?

well the bastard can at least tell you what jesus wouldn't do. read my scripture, jerks. READ MY FUCKING SCRIPTURE!

i'm making the transfer at lexington and standing in the same spot i stand at every day (unless i am expecting to buy breakfast. those days, i'm closer to a spot where i get dumped off on 32nd street) and what should my wandering eye see but two "men of the cloth" standing on the same spot. one of them is sweating excessively. the kind of sweat that comes with years of benefiting from the largess of lots of eating over his lifetime. the other who reeked of cigarette smoke, looking kind of like mister eko from lost looked at me. no. scowled at me. there was also a woman on our little piece of platform as well.

now here is where our little discussion turns to a what would jesus do discussion. now that bastard asks you, when the train pulls in,
what would jesus do?

would he give the white boy a dirty look?

would he block the white boy's path with his arm to reveal to white boy his jewel encrusted hand and while doing so, become so preoccupied with making sure that his divine ass can get on the train before the white boy that he totally cock blocks the woman from getting on the train before he does?

would he press himself so close to the door he just passed , that he would prevent the white boy and the woman from getting on the train properly and then subsequently give the gas face to the white boy when he presses in right behind him (yeah, i figured out somewhere along the way that this shit was about the bastard, so i wasn't going to make it easy for him)?

no i would have to argue that he wouldn't. not on the son of man's worst day.


so why, the bastard asks, does the "man of the cloth" in question feel that this is acceptable behavior? i didn't provoke him. he saw me. he made a judgement call. he consciously decided to single me out, the knowing look on his fat friend's face speaks to his decision to act upon me, albeit passive aggresively. i'll tell you why. because he has hate in his heart. i don't know if it's for the bastard's skin color or for his shades, his ipod, his ben sherman bag, his baldness, his swagger. it could be a combination of things. but it begs the question, is it morally right, religiously speaking of course, for a representative of god to act like a racist thug when he's out and about in his white collar? can a man of the cloth live the life of christ while being a racist piece of shit?

now the bastard has done more than his fair share of fun of religion but, i had to lay in. turn the other cheek jackass. turn the other cheek. and while your at it, take off your fucking rings jerk, it sends the wrong message to your flock. it tells me that i'm using your tithing to buy a big ass amethyst pinky ring and you should all feel like suckers for tithing to the likes of me. I'M SKIMMING!!! that's what i'm doing and i hate white folks too. there's a reason why monks take a vow of poverty and chastity. because christ opted to be poor and chaste. so there you have it. you see, the bastard isn't a minster so i don't have to turn the other cheek. fuck you.

—the bastard