Saturday, November 06, 2010

the more I change…

…the more you stay the same.

"I'm gonna excuse myself for a sec", and my wife heads for the powder room.

and for a few minutes, it's the little lady and I.

I rock the stroller back and forth and tell her that her feet stink.

and who should walk by but, thing1.

SIDEBAR: thing1 and thing2 were my old neighbors from the fhills.

and since the bastard was in the fhills this made sense.

you see, we had to get out early and go to sing song singing and stay out of doors for a while due to the perils of open houses.

you see buyers and sellers can't meet up as some manner of matter/antimatter shit might occur.

so we went to some open houses of our own across the river in what we expect to be our new land.

this is most efficiently completed by getting groceries at trader joes. which puts us in the fhills.

AND WE'RE BACK: so there's thing1 walking away and my ladyfriend returns from the powder room and i tell her who I saw.

"did you say hi?"

"she was walking away and n0t wearing her glasses and knowing what I know about people with glasses and their lack of periphery, i assume that she didn't see me"

and no sooner did these words leave my mouth, did I see thing2.

and she saw me.

and the look was the look as if she had just stepped in dogshit.

you see we haven't really been friendly since the whole "doorgate". besides,  the lowe laid the groundwork for bad relations with her anyway.

and there she was, picking up her lunch at the panera bread, scowling at me.

which is how I will always remember her.

—the bastard


Gorilla Bananas said...

Blowing her a kiss would have been a suitably ironic gesture.

bastard central said...

heeeeey gorilla,

the bastard suffers from a small personal failing in these situations. all of his best material occurs to him oft times after the fact; ergo the blog.

but i've been trenching through my archives to links with regard to them, i realize that blowing her a kiss would have been a more ideal solution