Showing posts with label el aye sí. Show all posts
Showing posts with label el aye sí. Show all posts

Sunday, February 02, 2014

purgatory disguised as a room with a view…

and you can't see out the window…

and smoke gets in your eyes…

and I just wanna cry…

cry…cry…cry…cry…cry…cry…cry…


it's so good out this morning…

the bastard just stood out in the balcony and breathed that shit in…

eyes closed…

coffee in hand…

straight up peaceful. 

and I glanced at the autopsy that was my view of the Empire State Building and saw that there was this patch of clarity…

a small sliver of the fdr drive…

some nondescript buildings…

a patch of the river…

and no logistical way for a developer to block it…

and the bastard thought to himself…

'self… this small spot isn't going away and that totally does not suck'

and it doesn't 

—the bastard

Thursday, May 09, 2013

life in these Long Island cities…




humid as hell…

yer man waltzes out into the street to get his 'go home' on…

expecting some manner of Thursday night bullshit from behind my home. 

yer man is pleasantly surprised to find that Thursday night has either taken it elsewhere tonight…

or…

perhaps decided staying inside the bomb shelter that is the bar behind my home. 

it was a nice change of pace. 

the bastard can't say it'll always be like this but it's these little surprises that make it all good in the hood. 

so, the babby and I hung out on the balcony instead of having story time…

and she told me about her day. 

it's the kind of stuff I can get used to. 

sort of how right now I can hear the angry man of the building's daughter running around their yard right now (silly rabbit, I told you I opted to not take that job here) which means it's 11:30. 

so tonight it's a glass of whiskey in the garden of good and evil for the bastard…

and I may take it on the balcony. 

domestic bliss in airquotes.

—the bastard


Friday, November 30, 2012

the road to elk



4 weeks ago...

i was in tucson...

on the phone...

"remember to take the elk"

"the elk?"

"yes. take the elk. it's less than 10 pounds of meat. put it in a cold bag and put it in may parents freezer"

"i'm not going to haul 10 pounds of elk down 6 flights of stairs, i have the baby. i'm going to need help"

"fair enough but the last time i witnessed elk spoiling, i came back to the office after a 3 day weekend and you know what the office smelled like?"

"no. what?"

"a dead body. do you want our home to smell like a dead body when we get back? take the elk"

and so a meatumental odyssey began for 10 pounds of new mexican elk that i have through the good graces of the editor who shot the 600 pound beastie"

oh...

wait...

"harvested"...

christ, the bastard hates that word.

when the lights came back on, the elk came back home with the babby and i…

through the good graces of the rents…

brought the precious wapiti home.

a week later, we hazarded spaghetti and meatballs…

or rather spaghetti and elk balls…

the bastard gets his sauce recipe from my dad, the shrink.

he walked me through it one day before I left home in 1996 and it stuck.

i'll wager it's a better recipe than most…

I season it like a smoker…

one clove of garlic more than needed…

more wine than needed…

more onion than needed…

because I used to smoke.

but that's a story for another time.



the end result was delicious…

for the elk is the magicalist of all of the meats.

2 pounds of chop down.

that leaves 3 steaks…

3 pounds of stew meat…

and a two pound roast.

meatumental…

—the bastard

Thursday, November 15, 2012

the H is O…

never has the bastard paid such close attention to his condo board's google mail group as he has these last three weeks.

my go to for how bad it's been these last three weeks.

you see…

while I've had the good fortune to have a great family to provide my family and I with three hots and a cot…

I haven't been home in over three weeks save to grab a couple days worth of clothes or to drop the mail…

I've felt like a bastard without a country…

the surreal trip through the way back machine was just topped off by a friend's refer death and the shock waves it has sent out to the scene I've been on and off part of hasn't helped either.

but no note from our intrepid crew of condo boarders was so great to read that the HVAC is working.

the lights are on…

the heat is on…

all I gotta do now is get a bottle a whiskey and have a good cry…

for tomorrow I will go home…

—the bastard

Sunday, July 22, 2012

stirrings…

at 1am the palace is quiet…

at 1am the bar downstairs is quiet…

at 1am the kids are quiet…

at 1am my head is quiet…

it was a good night. no one on the bar's patio had big drunken sounds to make.

my neighbor went out so he didn't spend saturday night smoking pot on his balcony.

it gave us some time to enjoy the outside space we have.

and for a change all was at rest.

but lo… the bastard hears some drunken revelers just walked by howling the howls of drunken idiots.

some days you get the bear.

some day the bear gets you.

—the bastard

Monday, June 18, 2012

…on breaking and entering… and pepsi

flashback:

do they expect us to come into work that day?

that depends, do you plan on getting stuff done that day?

nah, what are we gonna get done?

well let me put it to you this way, do you want me to come in that day?

I'm not coming in, shaking his head.

okay. I'll see you at the airport then.

now:

the bastard likes himself a bitta parklife and folks can argue what park is best but mine is the best.

no

really

up yours.

mine is the best. we got a fucking Pepsi cola sign in ours.

it's a goddam antique.

and after months of the gate being closed… it wasn't so the wife, the boy, and I sauntered in.

I popped off this sweet panorama and we walked the nearly finished site.

on the way back, a foreman from the laborers thug union tells us we shouldn't be there.

I acknowledge that we saw the fence open and were clearly in error and would leave and we headed for the fence.

waiting for us in his puffy oversized sweaty brooks brothers shirt with cinched belt was the project manager.

he sort of had that hourglass shape… but in the bad way.

he cocks his head and puffs up for the pantomime.

limping for weeks… I stop limping because the bastard is gonna step correct to this yob.

you can't be here.

sorry man, your foreman showed us the door. the fence was open.

you can't be here.

you need to calm down.

you can't be here.

YOU. need to calm down.

the fence means you can be here.

no mate. a sign that says KEEP OUT tells me I can't be here. an open fence means that it's open.

what if you and yours get hurt.

then, pointing my bastard finger, then I fucking hurt YOU mate

he went his way and I went mine. and I got this sweet photo of the Pepsi sign.

—the bastard

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

common…



"rent a flat above a shop
cut yer hair and get a job
smoke some fags an play some pool
pretend you never went to school

but still you'll never get it right
while you're lying in bed at night
watching roaches climb the wall
you can call your dad, he can stop it all"

it passed one day last week, but it's been a year since the bastard returned to the thorough borough…

to the liquid…

to west coast of the east…

to my fucking perch…

here in long island city.

shit was so uncertain.

there was a change of the guard at work.

I found out the old boss wanted me out which would have wrecked our future here.

we sold the old place and would be renting in some rathole until the job market returned or some crap.

the new bosses turned out to be more willing to give me a shot than the last one so I got lucky.

so I'm lucky

and grateful

and I live in a nice place with less grief than my old place on metro.

where I did battle on the regular with roaches the size of cattle and I killed rats with my bare hands.

and I sat in the dark being really angry about it all.

I used to walk home through forest hills gardens and sulk all the way home because I knew I'd never be able to afford to own there and now I'm in some other neighborhood where it's so nice that I can't sulk.

it's been a nice breather from hating

beats the hell out of haterade

—the bastard


Tuesday, May 15, 2012

the edge of queens

the bastard loves nights like this.

I mean he hates shit weather but he loves when the fog comes down on the liquid city

can't see past the waterline

no fdr drive…

no empire state building…

nothing.

just a bastard living in a city on the edge of forever.

beautiful in its tranquility.

my kinda town.

—the bastard