god is in his heaven and the bastard is on his earth and all is right with the world…

last week...

 or is it two weeks now, the bastard was talking with the singing copy chief about the past and since we were at the shot show…

and the toddler is rooting about somewhere around there that perhaps we'd run into him.

"I love to run into him, see how he's doing", she exclaimed.

"i wouldn't.", putting the kibosh on this line of conversation.

I mean, I don't wish the man ill…

okay, I do…

I'm a petty man.

petty is what I've got and if the toddler never makes it to the gates of the walled city that we are…

I'm a happier man for it.

the year he put me through, still resounds in me and I don't think I'll ever get around to feeling right about things again.

I know I never sleep right unless I have some help.

but I did get some recently at the show in the form of news.

a friend of mine ran into him at a function who knows him and knows where's he landed and told me

"he's doing great. says everything is awesome and super angine. which is a lie. he hates the man he works for and that is his lot for now."

and with that, the bastard felt a little better because someone is making it suck for him somewhere in the world…

and that's real good to me…

because I'm petty.

perhaps I'll talk about the other characters who made my 2010-2011 suck a lot and how their doing since we've parted company.

that makes me feel good too.

—the bastard

…on these little silences

went out for a drink with lobster Johnson tonight

he and mrs. Johnson were going to see some burlesque tonight and we caught up for a meal.

made for a tasty pork chop and some good brew.

made for a better Friday night that would have added up to the bastard working on the daily and drinking whiskey.

nothing against whiskey but,

the bastard likes a little time in the yard with the people.

makes him feel a little more adjusted to his circumstances.

also

it's keeps him from punching you in the face

—the bastard

on catharsis…

there's a reason the bastard doesn't discuss work on the blog.

well, there are several reasons the bastard doesn't discuss work on the blog.

one of them is, too many details… the closer you are to trouble for yourself.

another one is, that because of this I could never share some of the conversations I have for fear of frying my ass.

I had one such conversation today and I felt vindicated for what I felt about my last year.

I would rather not say more. I'd rather just be grateful about it.

—the bastard

the new way

it's been awful rough of late.

just the planning aspects here go a little pear shaped more often and the bastard finds himself doubling his efforts.

and when he is at the beck and call of others domestically speaking, he brings work home with him.

which has been a great time saver this time around.

but yesterday afternoon

after running pretty hard on all 8 for weeks

I finished what I was doing.

and it made me extremely uncomfortable.

and after what can be only described as me trying to crawl out of my own skin for five minutes, I walked over to a coworker to ask her if there was anything I could pick up.

after which the storm began anew and I became comfortable again in a busy world.

and now I'm taking a day off which may very well feel like 24 hours of me trying to climb out of my own skin.

—the bastard

24 hour party people…

…sans the party



since all of the bog changes in the office,

the workload has changed

and the bastard is losing sleep.

I squandered a perfectly good weekend playing catchup on work.

and I'm feeling a little burnt from it.

gotta get ahead of the curve.

at least the book looks good.

—the bastard

…on faith

flashback: it's pissing out and the bastard is happy to arrive at the office.

not dry but, not soaked so it's ok.

I get in the elevator and a woman says to me in a big voice, "isn't it a great day? isn't it just glorious outside?"

"it sure is something out"

another gets in and she pipes up again, "isn't it a great day? isn't it just glorious outside?"

"yeah…great"

and we ride up the elevator and when it stops on her floor this big voiced woman whispers, "thank you Jesus" and steps out.

the bastard feels sheepish mocking her earlier words because to a woman of faith, every day is glorious.

flash forward: today was not a good day.

shit is bringing me down professionally and personally

and on top of that, baby's first plane trip is this morning.

the bastard had to pick up some 11th hour stuff for the baby for the trip.

on a whim I got onto twitter to see if the waffle truck is near union square. and fortune finally smiled upon me in her fashion.

I wanted a pick me up and I know like alcohol, food is never to be used as a crutch

but, fuck you.

my day has been wave after wave of negativity which bookended a really pleasant conversation about gundam I had before going once more into the breach.

so i got a waffle and I think it dam near saved my life tonight.

and that's about as much faith as I can muster these days.

—the bastard

hey professor…

…how many bottles of seltzer does it take to fill a 45 gallon fish tank?

well young jerkface, it takes a bunch of bites of seltzer to fill a 45 gallon tank.

you see this is what it takes to deliver a concept from start to finish.

we talk about submersing a bunch of water filters into a tank in order to have a snazzy photo for our water filter test.

we draw it out.

and then we buy a fuck ton of seltzer.

the things we do for art.

—the bastard

the bastard's 7 steps for a completely fulfilling life

step 1: get divorced.

step 2: have your son move 2500 miles west of you.

step 3: put yourself into massive debt so that you can only really see him for only two months a year more or less.

step 4: get told by your boss that you can no longer bring your son who you only see 2 months a year and have put yourself into massive debt in order to have a relationship with.

step 5: seeth. do this alot.

step 6: die a little bit inside every day until you can't take anymore.

that's all

oh wait, i forgot

step 7: feel completely impotent to do anything about it. that's an important step.

you see, normally, i never want to complain about work but, it's not been a good ride this year. and this is just the trappings of it come home to roost. normally, i'd take my own piece of free advice and not end up like that person at glamour who got shitcanned for writing about their job but, i sort of don't care today because, every day i feel like i'm going to wake up and my son will be a stranger to me and it scares me to death.

so maybe the dole might be a little bit better today.

—the bastard