old man my ass

so, i read alot of stuff that warren ellis writes.

and i enjoy it alot.

i feel that one can read the word "shiteyes" overe and over and over again.

but i haven't read red yet (it's a pun get it? ahhhhhhh shaddup).

anyway, the bastard is so down for seeing this one.

quite like how all things jason statham makes bald guys feel ok about being bald,

this will make me feel ok about being old.

and and shit blows up in this film.

and i like this too.

—the bastard

...on risk 3

...or worst day off ever!

now the bastard isn't one for vacations. i mean, i like vacations and all but, i never seem to take one unless i actually have somewhere to go. that's why i haven't taken a proper vacation since i went to ireland in 2003. don't get me wrong. i've taken time off. i have to take time off to see the boy and that burns vacation time and all but, that's not a vacation, that's visiting. so i decided to take a week off and spend it taking care of crap around the house.

now the bastard has to tell you something. he's NEVER going to take a week off ever again. the first act of my week off was to finally get my motorcycle license in order. so the bastard has to ask you.

have you ever had one of those days off where you go to the DMV?

and a cab stops short in front of you?

and you look in the rear view mirror real quick to swerve but not the blind spot?

and you sideswipe someone else's automobile?

yeah, me too.

so i pull over to the side of the road and to hash it out with the owner of this black toyota that someone must have taken a hammer to and the driver gets out and he's like 2 heads taller than me, and i already know that it's my fault. cause it is! and we exchange pleasantries and he clamly tells me that as i can see, he doesn't have collision on his car. i can tell this by the spray painted piece of cardboard he's currently using for a trunk. either way we do the info exchange and i tell the driver that more than likely, we won't speak again as this is my problem, not his. and that's the god's honest truth. why give this poor kid grief because of the bastard's screw up. and it didn't look like he was planning on fixing up his ride any time soon. so needless to say, i'm thinking that the next time i take a week off, i'm going to HAVE to be doing something because this is the suckiest vacation ever.

on the bright side however, it only cost the bastard 10 bucks to alter his license to put an "M" next to the "D". yay cheap fees. and it'll only cost me a grand to fix the car. nice and smooth. >:-O

—the bastard

...on explosions

...and ordinance

last year, on memorial day, the bastard saw the blue angels fly over jones beach. i thought to myself, we have to be one of maybe 5 countries in the world that when you hear a fighter fly overhead, you look up and not say "oh shit, take cover". tonight, while i was looking out the window of some stranger's apartment on 33rd street and 1st avenue, watching the spectacle of the macys 4th of july explodathon, i thought to myself, we have to be one of maybe 5 countries on the earth that doesn't flich when we see this my hardware go up in smoke. instead we close off the FDR drive and watch it go down while the booze wears off. god bless this crapper we call a country. it's the best crapper of em all.

—the bastard