
well, the bastard spent his sunday painting stuff in my ladyfriend's apartment.
also, we went down to that horrendous trader joes on 14th street.
when all was finished, we put a second coat on and my ladyfriend said that this called for a treat.
so we went to
pinkberry.
pinkberry as you may or may not know is
swirly goodness.
or it's frozen yogurt reinvented to create an experience that indulges the senses. christ the bastard
loves marketing hacks.
or it's just a trendy frozen yogurt place where both otaku kids and sweatpants wearing jewish american princesses can congregate and listen to loud blaring techno and sit on knockoffs of
philippe starck's ghost chair. or maybe they are the real deal.
the bastard doesn't know. but the shit sure is tasty. so go to hell.
but upon my second visit i realize the murray hill
j.a.p.s have a uniform.
first and foremost, you
must have large aviator shades on. because while god slept on the seventh day, the day afte that, he sure as shit didn't want you to bother to put on makeup.

and secondly, you
must must must wear sweatpants related outfits. the baggier the better. the last thing you want to do is attract a mate while asking for carob chips on your green tea flavored frozen treat.
and despite, the above diagram, the "christ what an asshole" grin, is purely optional. so enjoy your frozen yogurt jackass. ENJOY!
—the bastard